Showing posts with label joke for today. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke for today. Show all posts

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Could Facebook be better organised?

I decided to try to see if I could contact a long lost friend on Facebook yesterday.

When trying to type in his name I found I could only use the surname and not include his first name.

OK. However I then found over 500 names listed and it isn't a particularly common name!

What was annoying though was that there didn't appear to be any rhyme or reason to the listings.

For example if I had been looking for "Fred Blogs" I would have found several Freds in different places. They would not have been all together.

So with all their wizz kid technology why can't Facebook list people alphabetically using first names?

Probably someone is going to tell me they do but if so my next question would be why can't they simply tell me this!

Let's have a joke:- The first half of your life is ruined by your parents, the second half by your kids. Hey that's not funny!

On this day:- 15th January

In 1973 President Nixon halted the bombing of Vietnam

In 1759 The British Museum opened.

John F.Beaumont

Monday, 6 December 2010

Great drama

I went Christmas shopping at Westfields in Derby last Friday.

There was a great drama when a car caught fire in the underground car park and everyone had to be evacuated from the centre.

Westfields is a large shopping mall/complex so you can imagine the thousands of people standing around outside for an hour until the all clear was given.

I was very impressed with the security personnel who managed to clear the centre so quickly and efficiently.

Also i think the management of Westfields did an excellent marketing touch by allowing all the cars to exit without paying. They must have lost a lot of money but their customer relations has improved for the longer term.

An excellent job by all.

Getting excited about the six figure mentors webinar which is due this week.Watch this space

Thought for today: How does the person who drives the snowplough get to work?

Joke for today:- I rang up a local builder and said I want a skip outside my house.
I'm not stoppimg you he replied.

On this day:- 6th December

In 1926 Claude Monet died

In 1921 26 southern states in Ireland were granted independence

In 1988 Roy Orbison died

John F. Beaumont

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

What a journey

Hi,

Had to drive back home from Yorkshire last night along the M1. This journey normally takes about an hour but because of the weather conditions took us over 3 hours.

For a long while we were only doing 10 miles per hour following in the tracks of the vehicle in front. Snow had covered all the road markings.

Still we did better than the north bound carriageway which had come to a standstill because of jack-knifed lorries.

Snow is lovely to look at and play in but a b----- nuisance when travelling.

Still apart from that had a good trip.

Thought for today:- Do you enjoy life whatever the weather or do you let circumstances dictate your attitude?

Joke for today:- Advice to single girls. Don't look for a husband, look for a batchelor.

On this day:- 1st December

In 1834 the slaves of the British Cape Colony were emancipated causing much resentment by the Boers.

In 1990 the Channel Tunnel linking Britain and France was completed.

In 1935 Woody Allen was born

In 1939 Lee Trevino was born


John F. Beaumont

Friday, 26 November 2010

Beautiful day

Just got back from taking Owen for his walk. It is a beautiful, crisp frosty morning with a bleak sun shining. Lovely

Yesterday I signed up for some new software to help with my business. I was a bit annoyed initially as after I purchased it I then had to buy an add on. After that there was another bit I had to buy and so on. After the 3rd add on I decided I'd had enough!!

Why do people do that. It may get them more money in the short term but long term this lack of integrity will back fire on them.

Anyrate enough of my gripe let's get positive as life is too short to moan.

Thought for today. Are you compromising your integrity for short term gain?

Joke for today:- Does the name Pavlov ring any bells?

On this day:-26th November

In 1832 New York got it's first streetcars. Horse drawn

In 1922 Charles Schultz was born

In 1939 Tina Turner was born

John Beaumont

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

How embarrasing!

I sent a broadcast to my list about an offer from Damian who is one of my mentors.

It's quite a good offer actually (I wouldn't have sent it otherwise!) However my internet protection system is advising me not to open the link because of potential problems. Oops.

This won't do my image any good.

Still hope it will be sorted shortly.

Apart from that a good day actually.

Thought for today:- If nothing sticks to Teflon how does it stay on the pan?

Joke for today:- I used some stripy toothpaste, Now i have stripy teeth.

On this day 24th November

In 1991 Freddie Mercury died

In 1963 Lee Harvey Oswald was shot

In 1859 Charles Darwin publishes the Origin of the Species

John Beaumont

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Ouch! Having to pay out again

Hi there,



I've just had to pay out £1200 to have the damp sorted out at my property in Sunderland. It's



cost me a fortune this year. A pity really since we had to decorate earlier but hopefully the damp



proofing will not mean too much redecorating. Still you can't expect tenants to live with damp



walls.



I hope the 30 year guarantee won't be needed!



Yesterday I watched an interesting new video from John Assaraf about changing your life. Very good.







Thought for today:- Are you enjoying life? If not why not?



Joke for today: A man walks into the doctors. I haven't seen you for ages says the doctor. I know replies the man I've been ill.



On this day:- 17th November



In 1796 Catherine the Great died

In 1558 Queen Mary Tudor died

In 1869 The Suez Canal opened.



John Beaumont

Thursday, 28 October 2010

Whats in a name?

Hi there

Got thinking about names again today.

When I was at school (back in the dark ages!) we always had nicknames for the teachers and most of our fellow prisoners oops sorry pupils.

In fact I was always called Percy or Perce. I don't know why but even today if I ran into anyone I knew from school they would call me Perce as I don't think they ever knew me as John. Strange isn't it?

Actually if you had a certain surname then you would be likely to be called by the first name associated with that name. For example all Wilsons were called Tug, Clarks were always Nobby, Frosts were Dusty etc.

You don't find that now do you. I wonder why not? Answers on a postcard please!!

Listened to a great Webinar this evening from the six figure mentors group of which I am a member. Very interesting. Will help me with my internet business no end.

Thought for today: What have you learned new today?

Joke for today:- Here's to alcohol-the cause of and the sokution to all of life's problems. Homer Simpson

John Beaumont

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Who can you trust?

Last week I went up to see my property in Sunderland. Because of the distance I appointed local management agents to look after and maintain the property. Doh what a mistake! Talk about slapdash decorating if you can politely call it that. Several jobs which I paid for and which were supposedly carried out by professionals were either not done or very carelessly carried out.
I know, I know should have carried out due diligence but hey when you employ supposedly professional people you shouldn't have to keep checking on them. Whats happened to professional pride?
Enough of my rant. Lets get back to being positive and happy. Boo hoo!
We are having a new cooker. What a laugh. We measured up we thought correctly to get one which would fit into the current gap in the kitchen. However we forgot or to be more honest I forgot that the gas hob had hidden depth to it. So the cooker we got was too big. Doh! Panic to get it changed for one that will fit into the space provided in the kitchen units.
Since we have had the old cooker removed and the new one cannot be fitted until Friday we are currently cookerless. Intersting to find out what you can cook in the microwave.
Took part in some Webinars where I gained some further interesting information about internet marketing
Thought for today. Trust people but do due diligence

Joke for today: Don't forget Mothers Day or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's third wife day. Jay Leno

On this day: Bad day for singers. In 1966 Sophie Tucker died and in 1981 Bill Haley died.

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Life is grand

Hi

Great day again today. Well I'm still alive so it must be!

I've got a solo ad for www.ezinternettraining.com being promoted on an ezine tomorrow so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it goes well.

Had a bit of bad news though as my son-in-law Paul has had to go into hospital again. I hope he will soon be better. He and my daughter Elizabeth have not had much luck lately so I'm hoping this will change for them soon because they deserve some good times.

I went and had my hair cut today. What happened to the old "short back and sides"? Now all done by numbers. Seems everything is a number these days.

Joke for today:- Oscar night at my house is known as Passover (Bob Hope)

Thought for today:- Eliminate your most self-defeating belief

On this day: June 9th In 1870 Charles Dickens died of a stroke
In 1951 the last Nuremberg Nazi hanged

Be happy.

John Beaumont