The National Institute of Economic and Social Research has warned that Britain will have a long way to go to put right the damage caused by the financial crash of 2008.
Oh good if the "experts" tell us this it probably means things will get right much sooner!
Mind you it is astonishing that out of the 200,000 new jobs created in the last year only 6000 of them were full time.
This means that 97% of the posts were part time.
The problem seems to be that employers are reluctant to take on full timers at this stage of the economic cycle.
The trouble is that despite all the money spent on trying to predict the future nobody really knows the answer.
I am always fascinated by watching eminent economists arguing about policy.
How can "experts" have such different views about the same thing? It just goes to show how much running a country (any country) is not an exact science.
Anyrate let's have a joke:- Last week I replaced every window in my house. Then I discovered I had a crack in my glasses!
On this day: 1st February
In 1790 the US Supreme Court met for the first time
In 1966 Buster Keaton died.
In 1901 Clark Gable was born.
John F. Beaumont
In fact I sometimes wonder whether we even know the question.
Showing posts with label internet business today's joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label internet business today's joke. Show all posts
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Sunday, 30 January 2011
The Best Way to A prefect Complexion?
Yuk!
I thought we had heard just about everything to keep your skin young looking when along comes another idea.
This time it is suggested that rubbing bird poo onto your face keeps your skin smooth and youthful.
Apparently the bird poop facial is doing a roaring trade at a spa in New York.
Ah but before you rush out and scoop up any poo from your garden I should point out that this is "special" poo.
It is collected from nightingale excrement found on the Japanese Isle of Kyushu.
Quite why this nightingale poo is any different to any other is not explained but is the reason given for the cost of £125!
I suppose there may be some scientific reason as the poo has an enzyme present which breaks down dead skin on the face.
Also it is thought (note thought!) that the poo contains guanine which occurs in pearls thus giving a reason why your skin will have a healthy shine.
Actually I think I wll stick to soap and water.
Much cheaper and no salmonella!
Let's have another joke:- Those pills are fantastic says the patient although they make me walk like a crab. That will just be the side effects replies the doctor.
On this day:- 30th January.
In 1948 Mahatma Ghandhi was assassinated.
In 1649 King Charles 1 of England was beheaded and England became a republic.
John F.Beaumont
I thought we had heard just about everything to keep your skin young looking when along comes another idea.
This time it is suggested that rubbing bird poo onto your face keeps your skin smooth and youthful.
Apparently the bird poop facial is doing a roaring trade at a spa in New York.
Ah but before you rush out and scoop up any poo from your garden I should point out that this is "special" poo.
It is collected from nightingale excrement found on the Japanese Isle of Kyushu.
Quite why this nightingale poo is any different to any other is not explained but is the reason given for the cost of £125!
I suppose there may be some scientific reason as the poo has an enzyme present which breaks down dead skin on the face.
Also it is thought (note thought!) that the poo contains guanine which occurs in pearls thus giving a reason why your skin will have a healthy shine.
Actually I think I wll stick to soap and water.
Much cheaper and no salmonella!
Let's have another joke:- Those pills are fantastic says the patient although they make me walk like a crab. That will just be the side effects replies the doctor.
On this day:- 30th January.
In 1948 Mahatma Ghandhi was assassinated.
In 1649 King Charles 1 of England was beheaded and England became a republic.
John F.Beaumont
Wednesday, 26 January 2011
Cash for Lesbian Squash Players
Hi there,
I was surprised to read in yesterday's newspaper that a gay squash club has been given a grant of £6500 to encourage lesbians to take up the sport.
Don't get me wrong I have nothing against gays or lesbians (one of my family is gay) but I object to giving government (sorry MY money) to a particular group who should be capable of providing their own funds..
The money is being provided by the Department of Culture,Media and Sport. That sounds more like a department of a communist state rather than a democracy!
I wonder what the reaction would be if they provided money specifically for non gays.
It's great that lesbians should be encouraged to take up sport but should public money be used for this purpose?
Surely the money could be spent on more deserving cause such as for handicapped people?
Any rate let's have a joke. Two cowboys stagger out of the zoo with their clothes in shreds. One turns to the other. "That lion dancing is sure frightening"
On this day. 26th January
In 1788 the first ships arrived in Australia with prisoners to start the penal colony
In 1925 Paul Newman was born and in 1928 Eartha Kitt followed.
John F.Beaumont
I was surprised to read in yesterday's newspaper that a gay squash club has been given a grant of £6500 to encourage lesbians to take up the sport.
Don't get me wrong I have nothing against gays or lesbians (one of my family is gay) but I object to giving government (sorry MY money) to a particular group who should be capable of providing their own funds..
The money is being provided by the Department of Culture,Media and Sport. That sounds more like a department of a communist state rather than a democracy!
I wonder what the reaction would be if they provided money specifically for non gays.
It's great that lesbians should be encouraged to take up sport but should public money be used for this purpose?
Surely the money could be spent on more deserving cause such as for handicapped people?
Any rate let's have a joke. Two cowboys stagger out of the zoo with their clothes in shreds. One turns to the other. "That lion dancing is sure frightening"
On this day. 26th January
In 1788 the first ships arrived in Australia with prisoners to start the penal colony
In 1925 Paul Newman was born and in 1928 Eartha Kitt followed.
John F.Beaumont
Monday, 24 January 2011
The European Union Laws
Recently on Countryfile a BBC programme a report about the new European Union (getting more like the Soviet Union every day)in which a discussion took place about a new law which comes into operation later this year.
This law is all about battery hens.
There will have to be new bigger/better gages in which to keep hens.
That's great. I'm all for improving the life of the hens.
However what really struck home to me was the comment from some of the egg producers that they were going to have to lobby the government to control the import of eggs from other European Countries.
Whilst our farmers are having to spend out large sums for new gages etc it appears that some other EU countries are likely to ignore the law and continue in the old way.
What is the point of bringing in new laws if the EU cannot or will not enforce them?
It is now such a corrupt organisation that I fear for the future.
Oops I shouldn't have posted that I'll probably be one of the first to have the EU secret police knocking on my door in the early morning.
Seriously though the organisation is getting out of control and somehow will have to be reigned in before it does unrepairable damage.
Enough of my rant.
Let's have a joke:- There are three kinds of lie, a small lie,a big lie and politics.
On this ay 24th January
In 1848 Gold strike in California
In 1941 Neil Diamond was born
John F.Beaumont
This law is all about battery hens.
There will have to be new bigger/better gages in which to keep hens.
That's great. I'm all for improving the life of the hens.
However what really struck home to me was the comment from some of the egg producers that they were going to have to lobby the government to control the import of eggs from other European Countries.
Whilst our farmers are having to spend out large sums for new gages etc it appears that some other EU countries are likely to ignore the law and continue in the old way.
What is the point of bringing in new laws if the EU cannot or will not enforce them?
It is now such a corrupt organisation that I fear for the future.
Oops I shouldn't have posted that I'll probably be one of the first to have the EU secret police knocking on my door in the early morning.
Seriously though the organisation is getting out of control and somehow will have to be reigned in before it does unrepairable damage.
Enough of my rant.
Let's have a joke:- There are three kinds of lie, a small lie,a big lie and politics.
On this ay 24th January
In 1848 Gold strike in California
In 1941 Neil Diamond was born
John F.Beaumont
Monday, 17 January 2011
Laughter the best medicine.
I was interest to read an article about laughter.
It seems that children on average laugh about 400 times a day whereas the average for adults is just 17!
Wow that's quite a difference.
We should increase our laughter rate as laughing 100 times is a good whole body work out equivalent to 10 minutes on a rowing machine or 15 minutes on an excersise bike.
Excellent I will just sit on the couch and laugh so that I don't have to do any excercise!
Hey who works all this out??
Still I agree we should all laugh more so let's have a joke;- My doctor told me that if I took up jogging it could add ten years to my life. He was right. I now feel ten years older.
On this day:- 17th January
In 1899 Al Capone was born.
In 1733 Captain Cook's ship Resolution crossed the Antartic Circle. The first ship ever to do so.
John F.Beaumont
It seems that children on average laugh about 400 times a day whereas the average for adults is just 17!
Wow that's quite a difference.
We should increase our laughter rate as laughing 100 times is a good whole body work out equivalent to 10 minutes on a rowing machine or 15 minutes on an excersise bike.
Excellent I will just sit on the couch and laugh so that I don't have to do any excercise!
Hey who works all this out??
Still I agree we should all laugh more so let's have a joke;- My doctor told me that if I took up jogging it could add ten years to my life. He was right. I now feel ten years older.
On this day:- 17th January
In 1899 Al Capone was born.
In 1733 Captain Cook's ship Resolution crossed the Antartic Circle. The first ship ever to do so.
John F.Beaumont
Friday, 31 December 2010
Sir Elton John's baby
I see the news at the moment is all about Sir Elton John's new baby.
This is very nice for him and his partner David Furnish but I can't help feeling a little sorry for the baby Zachary.
Sure he will have every thing money can buy and both his parents seem to be very loving but my concern is the age of Sir Elton.
Why? Well you see my father was 67 years old when I was born and passed away when I was only 13.
That was sad enough but I also saw my fathers declining health before he died. In fact I had to tie his boot laces up for him when my mother wasn't around.
It is of course unlikely that Zachary will have any problems like tying shoe laces but it may be sad for him if he loses one or other of the loving partnership at an early age.
Hopefully that won't happen.
I've more or less got my new website for my internet business established. It's looking good.
Joke for today:- I'm not playing all the wrong notes. I'm playing the right notes but not necessarily in the right order. Eric Morecombe
On this day: 31st December
In 1937 Anthony Hopkins was born and in 1943 Ben Kingsley made his first appearance.
John F Beaumont internet marketer
This is very nice for him and his partner David Furnish but I can't help feeling a little sorry for the baby Zachary.
Sure he will have every thing money can buy and both his parents seem to be very loving but my concern is the age of Sir Elton.
Why? Well you see my father was 67 years old when I was born and passed away when I was only 13.
That was sad enough but I also saw my fathers declining health before he died. In fact I had to tie his boot laces up for him when my mother wasn't around.
It is of course unlikely that Zachary will have any problems like tying shoe laces but it may be sad for him if he loses one or other of the loving partnership at an early age.
Hopefully that won't happen.
I've more or less got my new website for my internet business established. It's looking good.
Joke for today:- I'm not playing all the wrong notes. I'm playing the right notes but not necessarily in the right order. Eric Morecombe
On this day: 31st December
In 1937 Anthony Hopkins was born and in 1943 Ben Kingsley made his first appearance.
John F Beaumont internet marketer
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